ALL THE DAMN TIME

all the damn time.
i was available to them all the damn time.
i listen to them all the damn time.
and still i get isolated and alienated and seemingly betrayed all the damn time.
and all that damn time i tell myself,
that no,
not anymore.
this is not going to be repeated any damn time again.
i try…
i try…
i try…
but,
i fail.
and again all the damn time,
they contain me,
i be available and feeling used.
but,
i understand and interpret their situations.
and i’m like,
okay its okay.
and let them have me again the next time
and now,
all the damn time.

i feel like i’m getting used to
breath in this way
all the damn time
let myself available
again
all the damn time
all the damn time